A lot has been going on and I'm almost at the point of going insane... I'm trying hard to keep myself together. On the 14th of May I went to my second endocrinologist, who didn't seem to be able to read my pathology report or knows anything about variants. I had to tell her that they narrow my cancer down to four aggressive types, which she was like "well it says you have papillary cancer"... to which I said "Yes, the main is papillary cancer, but there are variants," which that was pretty much ignored. She also didn't understand the blood work orders and my medication adjustments. We had to explain the labs were done first and then the medication was adjusted based on those orders. She claimed based on my lab reports that it seems like the 125 mcg of Levothyroxine was close to the dosage I needed. I told her I didn't understand was my labs showed my TSH was high and I felt like crap just like I did on 175 mcg and 150 mcg.
I tried to get her to order adrenal saliva test and my full iron panel, but she refused just like the other one. She claimed that my issues might not be thyroid related, but still refuses to see if I have an adrenal problem (also in the endocrine system). These results could explain why my medication isn't working along with other symptoms I have been experiencing. I also explain to her that my family seems to have a lot of endocrine problems: kidneys, stomach, and thyroid, so it's reasonable to think I am having another endocrine problem that could be messing things up. Still got no for the tests. The thing with ordering tests is... I can order them online (really expensive though), but I have insurance and doctors that can order them for me and I am still paying for them... so what's the big deal?
She then tried to get me back on synthetic medication, which I got angry as she wouldn't do anything I wanted and she expects me to throw my body back into that crap?! She claims that the natural thyroid medication is bad for the heart and bones (actually natural thyroid medication is good for the bones, it has improved people's bone density). I felt like saying to her that sometimes heart medication can be bad for the heart as well, but are people going to stop taking needed heart medication because others had issues? No, they aren't since what works for others, doesn't always work for other people. This is why they are a lot of companies making their own version of the medications as there are many ways to make them with different fillers and such as not everyone can absorb the same medication the same way.
She also claimed that my natural thyroid medication is too high (basing this on the results from my last Levothyroxine test that was done in MARCH), but I agree, thinking it was too big of a jump as I was basing it on the UPS numbers. I was willing to lower my dosage, but not willing to change my medication. She was not happy with this and ordered the normal tests. Well I got some of my lab results today (TSH, Free T4, and Free T3)... My TSH increased (which is good since it was .020 before), but my FT4 and FT3 decreased, so I might need to increase my medication and not decrease it. Now I am wondering if it will be easy now to order my Reverse T3, adrenal saliva test, and full iron panel... probably not.
Then on Tuesday I have to go to Ohio's Department of Human Services for a two hour interview thing about work stuff. I'm just hoping my last work place sent them the paper that said I quit due to medical issues... I hope so, if not I might be screwed big time. Tuesday is also the funeral of my fiance's grandmother and I couldn't reschedule the interview since there was no information on the paper about it. On top of that, we are leaving this Friday for 2.5 weeks, so yeah... had to reschedule it.
Then starting today I am in Summer classes... yay, lol. Luckily the full semester I only have two classes, but the second half there is a third added to it. I should do fine this semester as it doesn't seem hard, just a lot of work in the one class. Oh! Spring semester I got a 4.0, which makes me be on the Dean's List a second time and making my overall GPA to be a 3.7, yay!
When I come back from my trip, I'm going to talk to one of the advisers from the school I went to transfer to talk about my Bachelor degree stuff. I am thinking of skipping my Associates and go straight into my Bachelor's to save some time and some money. Just have to see what I find out from the school before I make that decision.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, May 20, 2013
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Unbelievable!
Okay... this has been upsetting me since I saw it last night and I can't take it anymore. My boyfriend was on Reddit and started to wonder if my sister uses the same username for every site she's on. Clearly she does as he found her as she was posting pictures of her cat and he looked to see where she usually posts out of curiosity. Then one post caught his eye and he got angry and showed it to me. Then I got upset, more like hurt since she's saying lies about my family. Also it proves she's just like our oldest brother.
All she ever talks about is herself, her fantasy-life of mistreatment, and her cat. I mean it's reddit and your account, I get it you should talk about yourself, but she talks about her family in many posts. But never me. Not to seem like I'm the center of the universe or anything, but I think that if your sister gets cancer you shouldn't act like she doesn't exist. Which she basically says a few times in posts after I was diagnosed that there is "no family" nearby. I LIVE 30 MINUTES AWAY! But around the time I was diagnosed with cancer and my family came down to visit, she told me that she posted on there about helpful donations for my health. After perusing her entire post history, I can safely say that she never did. On my surgery day she was not there, why? Because she had to help with a documentary that day. It was not job related or school related. It was for her ex-boyfriend. All she thinks about is herself and ways to make her facade look better to others.
This is what one of her posts read:
"I'm the youngest of five kids. Throughout my 22 years, I've watched my parents bend over backwards for my siblings. I was made to get a job at 16 and start providing for myself, while my 20 year old sister was financially cared for. I had to buy my own car, while my parents paid half for theirs... the list goes on. I would never expect my parents to buy me things like a car, or pay for my schooling, but it certainly rubbed me the wrong way when they did it so readily for my siblings.
All she ever talks about is herself, her fantasy-life of mistreatment, and her cat. I mean it's reddit and your account, I get it you should talk about yourself, but she talks about her family in many posts. But never me. Not to seem like I'm the center of the universe or anything, but I think that if your sister gets cancer you shouldn't act like she doesn't exist. Which she basically says a few times in posts after I was diagnosed that there is "no family" nearby. I LIVE 30 MINUTES AWAY! But around the time I was diagnosed with cancer and my family came down to visit, she told me that she posted on there about helpful donations for my health. After perusing her entire post history, I can safely say that she never did. On my surgery day she was not there, why? Because she had to help with a documentary that day. It was not job related or school related. It was for her ex-boyfriend. All she thinks about is herself and ways to make her facade look better to others.
This is what one of her posts read:
"I'm the youngest of five kids. Throughout my 22 years, I've watched my parents bend over backwards for my siblings. I was made to get a job at 16 and start providing for myself, while my 20 year old sister was financially cared for. I had to buy my own car, while my parents paid half for theirs... the list goes on. I would never expect my parents to buy me things like a car, or pay for my schooling, but it certainly rubbed me the wrong way when they did it so readily for my siblings.
It's caused some disagreements between my parents and I. I had to
move out when I was 19, but my 25 and 29 year old brother still live at
home. They're also completely financially supported by my parents.
During hard financial times, I asked my parents if they could lend me
some money until my next payday, and they said no because they needed to
buy groceries for my 25 year old (unemployed) sister.
It's hard to not see the favoritism in these kind of situations. It's hard not to wonder why your parents wouldn't go to the same lengths for you, and if they care about you the same way they do for their other children. You have to have a conversation with them about this. Do it as non-confrontational as possible. Don't make accusations right away, and use I-statements. Let them know what your perception is and ask what is theirs. I wish you luck, and I'm sorry this is an issue for you."
To note, some of these ages are way wrong as the brother that's 10 years older than her moved out of the house long before she was 19. Okay, first off only three of us have cars, my two younger sisters and my oldest brother. My parents helped my oldest brother with his first car and schooling because they were financially able to and they planned to help us others out when we came to college and car, but couldn't (My parents have now moved three times since then). My oldest brother also got cutoff due to buying expensive items like designer brand shirts and he was warned many times. It didn't take too long and they cut him off. The car situation was bad as my dad cosigned for it and when my brother didn't pay for the car, it forced my dad to pay for it.
My older brother who is 8 years older than my youngest sister didn't ask for much when he was younger. He never had a car or a job due to medical issues, but gets help from the government, so my parents don't provide for him. Well other than a roof over his head and driving him to places, which doesn't happen much.
For myself, again, no car and I had to pay for my cellphone as soon as I got one. Both of my sisters got free cell phones when they were in school and they were told if someone got a job, one of the phones goes to the working person. I started working and I got no phone, it took me a little over half a year to get a cell phone and I had to pay for it right away. I was bad with my money, so I was already cut off and I had to pay for my personal items and sometimes my special foods (stuff that no one else ate in the house) as well, so I'm not complaining (back then I did, but today I find it understanding). If you are a reader of my blog, you would know I started college last year and getting no help from my parents not even for my medical bills. Well take that back, my parents paid for my Phi Theta Kappa entrance fee as a gift. My parents can't afford helping me out and I know they want to, but I know they can't as well as they have too much on their plate already. I do thank them for being there for me and still there for me. I love them so much.
My younger sister, who is three years older than my youngest sister, had a job and was paying for her stuff. My parents plan was to pay for driving school for us kids when we were ready and also if we got a GM car my dad would help with the down payment since he had points with his company for GM cars. So my dad helped with a down payment on a car and my sister was paying for it. Then in May my sister, who was 21 at the time, went into the hospital for a month (we think it was a major breakdown now, but not sure) and we thought she was going to die. Due to health issues and not being able to work much, my dad has helped her pay bills and her car. Right now they are working on trying to get disability for her in hopes to relieve the financial stress on her and my parents. She's the only one my parents are currently supporting right now. The money for the bills and her car were not gifts, but IOUs that my sister will have to pay back.
My youngest sister had been baby'ed a lot over her lifetime. Both she and the other sister got the cell phones, got to pierce their ears while being under 18/still living at home, got my mom to buy them CDs every week (I wanted comics/manga [Japanese comics] and my mom never brought me one... and they were cheaper too), and among other things. My sister also had a lawsuit with a car insurance company and won a large among of money, which was used to pay for college and her car... she had also saved money from work, so my parents didn't need to help her when it came to this moment in her life. On top of that by that time my parents couldn't afford to help her. She was forced to get a job because she wanted to home school and my mom warned her that was going to happen. My sister made that choice, not my parents. Anytime she asked my parents for money for food or any kind of help, it usually turns out she needed it for a tattoo that she didn't need at that moment or most likely drugs (yes I know she's doing drugs... seen it at her place and she admits it too). Of course, after awhile people will say no to the borrowing if they know it's not for a needed thing. Though my parents did borrow money from her to help them get their current house, with the history of her blowing thousands of dollars away so fast, of course, my parents are afraid to give her money back so fast (well first off they don't really have the money to give anyways).
My parents may not be perfect, no one is, but to lie so much about not getting any kind of help is unbelievable. Be happy you had a place to call home, a bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, clothes on your person, and food on your plate, you ungrateful brat.
It's hard to not see the favoritism in these kind of situations. It's hard not to wonder why your parents wouldn't go to the same lengths for you, and if they care about you the same way they do for their other children. You have to have a conversation with them about this. Do it as non-confrontational as possible. Don't make accusations right away, and use I-statements. Let them know what your perception is and ask what is theirs. I wish you luck, and I'm sorry this is an issue for you."
To note, some of these ages are way wrong as the brother that's 10 years older than her moved out of the house long before she was 19. Okay, first off only three of us have cars, my two younger sisters and my oldest brother. My parents helped my oldest brother with his first car and schooling because they were financially able to and they planned to help us others out when we came to college and car, but couldn't (My parents have now moved three times since then). My oldest brother also got cutoff due to buying expensive items like designer brand shirts and he was warned many times. It didn't take too long and they cut him off. The car situation was bad as my dad cosigned for it and when my brother didn't pay for the car, it forced my dad to pay for it.
My older brother who is 8 years older than my youngest sister didn't ask for much when he was younger. He never had a car or a job due to medical issues, but gets help from the government, so my parents don't provide for him. Well other than a roof over his head and driving him to places, which doesn't happen much.
For myself, again, no car and I had to pay for my cellphone as soon as I got one. Both of my sisters got free cell phones when they were in school and they were told if someone got a job, one of the phones goes to the working person. I started working and I got no phone, it took me a little over half a year to get a cell phone and I had to pay for it right away. I was bad with my money, so I was already cut off and I had to pay for my personal items and sometimes my special foods (stuff that no one else ate in the house) as well, so I'm not complaining (back then I did, but today I find it understanding). If you are a reader of my blog, you would know I started college last year and getting no help from my parents not even for my medical bills. Well take that back, my parents paid for my Phi Theta Kappa entrance fee as a gift. My parents can't afford helping me out and I know they want to, but I know they can't as well as they have too much on their plate already. I do thank them for being there for me and still there for me. I love them so much.
My younger sister, who is three years older than my youngest sister, had a job and was paying for her stuff. My parents plan was to pay for driving school for us kids when we were ready and also if we got a GM car my dad would help with the down payment since he had points with his company for GM cars. So my dad helped with a down payment on a car and my sister was paying for it. Then in May my sister, who was 21 at the time, went into the hospital for a month (we think it was a major breakdown now, but not sure) and we thought she was going to die. Due to health issues and not being able to work much, my dad has helped her pay bills and her car. Right now they are working on trying to get disability for her in hopes to relieve the financial stress on her and my parents. She's the only one my parents are currently supporting right now. The money for the bills and her car were not gifts, but IOUs that my sister will have to pay back.
My youngest sister had been baby'ed a lot over her lifetime. Both she and the other sister got the cell phones, got to pierce their ears while being under 18/still living at home, got my mom to buy them CDs every week (I wanted comics/manga [Japanese comics] and my mom never brought me one... and they were cheaper too), and among other things. My sister also had a lawsuit with a car insurance company and won a large among of money, which was used to pay for college and her car... she had also saved money from work, so my parents didn't need to help her when it came to this moment in her life. On top of that by that time my parents couldn't afford to help her. She was forced to get a job because she wanted to home school and my mom warned her that was going to happen. My sister made that choice, not my parents. Anytime she asked my parents for money for food or any kind of help, it usually turns out she needed it for a tattoo that she didn't need at that moment or most likely drugs (yes I know she's doing drugs... seen it at her place and she admits it too). Of course, after awhile people will say no to the borrowing if they know it's not for a needed thing. Though my parents did borrow money from her to help them get their current house, with the history of her blowing thousands of dollars away so fast, of course, my parents are afraid to give her money back so fast (well first off they don't really have the money to give anyways).
My parents may not be perfect, no one is, but to lie so much about not getting any kind of help is unbelievable. Be happy you had a place to call home, a bed to sleep in, a roof over your head, clothes on your person, and food on your plate, you ungrateful brat.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Bad News/Good News
I know it's been awhile again that I posted on here since I've been busy with school and trying to figure out my job stuff. I had left my one job due to lack of hours and also lack of understanding my health issues by some of my supervisors, which caused my anxiety to get bad. I went back to a job I had one and a half years ago and loved working there, I was so excited to work there again. I guess, I never realized the job was actually harder than I thought. For those that don't know, it's a sales associate job at a department store, doesn't seem hard I know, but it is on the body. I was crying after being up on my feet for two to three hours with no break (you get a break if you work five hours) and my arms were hurting from lifting so many clothes. I started this job at the beginning of the month and it makes me so depressed that I had to leave so soon. Sadly since I had to end up job without a two weeks notice (there was no way I could handle it for another two weeks, especially with the eight hour shifts), they will not hire me based on company policy even though it's because of a health issue. I actually broke down crying when I was telling them, but it's out of HR's hand because it's the company policy.
The plan is to go jobless for awhile until my health gets better, which hopefully will once I see my new Endocrinologist and I start (hopefully again) getting better treatment. I am pretty sure that my adrenal is one of the reasons my reverse T3 is so high, so that needs to be taken care of so the medication can work for me.
The 24th of April was my 28th birthday, which was pretty depressing for me not only because I was working, but because where I am in life. I'm not married though I do have a boyfriend, I don't have kids nor one on the way, I don't have a degree as I just started college last year, I don't have a car or a place of my own, and so on... and yet I'm close to being 30 years old. On top of that I don't know if I still have cancer, I still don't have my old life back or close to and I continue to keep getting worse.
Okay... some good news, so far I am still make straight A's in school and running for Publicity Director for Phi Theta Kappa. When I filled out FAFSA I said I wanted to apply for work-study, so hopefully I can get that in hopes to be able to pay my bills. I have my school reunion on June 1st in Austin, TX that I plan to go to and at the same time visit friends and family. I'm going to try posting on here more often now that I am jobless, but also work on comic and game idea outlining and scripting, so I can get closer to actually start working on the final product.
That is all for now...
The plan is to go jobless for awhile until my health gets better, which hopefully will once I see my new Endocrinologist and I start (hopefully again) getting better treatment. I am pretty sure that my adrenal is one of the reasons my reverse T3 is so high, so that needs to be taken care of so the medication can work for me.
The 24th of April was my 28th birthday, which was pretty depressing for me not only because I was working, but because where I am in life. I'm not married though I do have a boyfriend, I don't have kids nor one on the way, I don't have a degree as I just started college last year, I don't have a car or a place of my own, and so on... and yet I'm close to being 30 years old. On top of that I don't know if I still have cancer, I still don't have my old life back or close to and I continue to keep getting worse.
Okay... some good news, so far I am still make straight A's in school and running for Publicity Director for Phi Theta Kappa. When I filled out FAFSA I said I wanted to apply for work-study, so hopefully I can get that in hopes to be able to pay my bills. I have my school reunion on June 1st in Austin, TX that I plan to go to and at the same time visit friends and family. I'm going to try posting on here more often now that I am jobless, but also work on comic and game idea outlining and scripting, so I can get closer to actually start working on the final product.
That is all for now...
Friday, February 22, 2013
Learning to Care: How We Made It Through Cancer
So... I said I was going to do this on Thursday, but I was asleep most of the day and then had an appointment. Sorry! I'm going to make this a Friday event thing on the blog now. If you have a story to share just email me.
This story is from Cameron about his wife's and his story on their struggle with life and cancer. I think it's a story that needs to be shared.
On November 21st, 2005, my wife and I started a journey that would prove to be one of the most difficult challenges we’d ever face. This is the day that my wife was diagnosed with cancer, malignant pleural mesothelioma. It was also the moment in my life when I was no longer just a husband. I became a caregiver for someone who had cancer. I wasn't necessarily prepared for this kind of a job, but I did everything that I could to be there for my wife. It came at a strange time in our lives. We were just starting to figure out how to parent a newborn, our first and only. Our daughter Lily was born just three months before my wife's diagnosis.
I started my job as a caregiver the moment that my wife found out she had cancer. I was with her in the doctor's office, and the look on her face sent me into a panic. I didn't know what we were going to do as the doctor talked about treatment options. There were three different places that we could go, one of which was a specialist named Dr. David Sugarbaker in Boston. My wife was too shocked and paralyzed by fear to consider any of these options, and I knew that I had to make a decision for my family. I turned to the doctor and said, “Get us to Boston!” Soon after, my wife would begin treatment there, and there would be a lot of questions about how we were going to survive as a family.
The next few months were chaotic for my family. I was still working or at least, trying to work. I had so much stress from the bills, taking care of Lily while also taking care of my wife that I wasn't really sure how I got through those first few months. I wasn't at my best all the time, and despite my best efforts to stay positive I often imagined the worst case scenario, my wife passing away and leaving me a broke, widowed single father with a daughter who would never really know her mother. These were the darkest of days, and more than once I broke down crying under the pressure. However, despite having these weak moments I never let Heather see my fears. I knew she needed me to be strong for her.
My wife's family is extremely caring. They came through for us at a time when we needed them most. Not only did they provide financial support for us during a really hard time but they helped take care of Lily, and offered kind words of encouragement to help us get through the rough times.
If you are a caregiver
in a similar situation, take these lessons from someone who has been there
before. Don’t’ be afraid or ashamed to
ask for help. Allow yourself to have bad
days, these are inevitable and even necessary at times. Use every resource available to you, and
above all else never, ever give up hope for a better tomorrow.
After months of grueling
mesothelioma treatment,
Heather came out the other side cancer-free, and has remained so for nearly
seven years. We hope that by sharing our
experiences, we can help inspire all those currently in their own cancer
battles today.
Cameron has a blog of his own that if any of you care to read more about what his and his family have been dealing with and continue to deal with, here's the link: http://www.mesothelioma.com/
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Rant
So it's been a month since I last posted in my blog and sorry about that. On January 7th, I started up my spring semester and this time I think I over did it with my classes as I have four classes with each having three credit hours. My classes for this semester are Cultural Anthropology, Foundation of Business, English 2, and Computer Concepts and Applications. Lately I haven't had much me time, especially since last week and this week I'm visiting family while I have a lot of homework. I should be reading right now, but figured I let people know that read this that I am still here and alive.
So... what's been going on with my health lately? Last month I went to see my Endocrinologist for the first time and also went to my ENT to see my results from my blood work. My TSH was at .026, so my ENT lowered my synthroid to 150 mcg and the chest pains have lessen, but I'm still having breathing issues and I can't take deep breaths without it hurting. My Thyroglobulin went from .4 in November to .5 in December, which isn't a huge worry since sometimes they will miss thyroid tissues that try to rebuild and also I swear I have a thyroglossal duct cyst under my chin, which might be making the numbers go up. I got a copy of my pathology report from my surgery and turns out they don't know exactly what kind of cancer I had, but narrowed it down to four rare and uncommon types with one of them being Tall-cell thyroid cancer. Tall-cell doesn't always react to Radioactive Iodine (RAI) treatment, which isn't good, of course, but because there's a chance of it my Endo wants me to have RAI (though she kept saying my numbers are good). I was told I didn't need to worry about my thyroglobulin numbers until they hit 1 or 2, so I'm not doing RAI until that happens.
Oh... and one thing that pissed me off about my Endo... She was talking about doing TSH and Free T4 tests on me and I asked her about Free T3 and Reverse T3 testing. Her answer to T3 was that cancer patients don't need T3. WTF!? I had to explain to her that 125, 175, and 150 of the synthroid were doing nothing for me and they all felt the same. She was surprised and gave me a small dosage, 5 mcg, of Cytomel, which I'm supposed to take once a day, and still wouldn't do a blood test. The problem with T3 medication is that it only lasts you for four hours a day and then after that, you are just relying on your body. I can feel the difference when my body has the T3 medication in it, especially at the two hour mark, but once it's gone I feel horrible. I know the 5 mcg is too low for me since there isn't as big of a difference between how I'm now normally am and when I have the medication. Also when I brought up T3 right away she said she wouldn't put me on Armour... so red flag there, so I'm going to be looking for a new Endo and when I talk to the front desk my first question is 'are they known for giving out Armour or do they refuse to give people that?'
I see my ENT in March, so I'll be asking him to do a Free T3 and Reverse T3 blood test and if he won't I will go to my PCP since I know she'll do it for me. Oh speaking of blood tests... I've been trying to get my mom and sister to check out their thyroids since they have a lot of signs and issues that can be related to the thyroid. Well my sister goes to see her doctor, but I guess, she saw the nurse practitioner instead... my sister asked about checking her thyroid and the NP just gave her a request for the lab to do TSH. I got angry. I think I was yelling about it outside of the building over it. TSH alone does crap to see if there is a thyroid issue and that's basic common sense for doctors even my PCP and her nurse know that. The results from TSH, Free T3, and Free T4 are compared to find out for sure what's wrong with a patient or if they need more testing done for like auto-immune diseases. Justin understood why I was so angry, but my mom and sister were like 'If something shows up on the TSH test they will probably do more testing'... I kept trying to explain to them that's not how it works since TSH is NOT checking the thyroid, but the pituitary gland and its reactions to the how much of your hormones the thyroid is producing and even this test alone can show things are okay when they aren't.
Okay.. I think that's enough for today as I really, really need to do school work.
So... what's been going on with my health lately? Last month I went to see my Endocrinologist for the first time and also went to my ENT to see my results from my blood work. My TSH was at .026, so my ENT lowered my synthroid to 150 mcg and the chest pains have lessen, but I'm still having breathing issues and I can't take deep breaths without it hurting. My Thyroglobulin went from .4 in November to .5 in December, which isn't a huge worry since sometimes they will miss thyroid tissues that try to rebuild and also I swear I have a thyroglossal duct cyst under my chin, which might be making the numbers go up. I got a copy of my pathology report from my surgery and turns out they don't know exactly what kind of cancer I had, but narrowed it down to four rare and uncommon types with one of them being Tall-cell thyroid cancer. Tall-cell doesn't always react to Radioactive Iodine (RAI) treatment, which isn't good, of course, but because there's a chance of it my Endo wants me to have RAI (though she kept saying my numbers are good). I was told I didn't need to worry about my thyroglobulin numbers until they hit 1 or 2, so I'm not doing RAI until that happens.
Oh... and one thing that pissed me off about my Endo... She was talking about doing TSH and Free T4 tests on me and I asked her about Free T3 and Reverse T3 testing. Her answer to T3 was that cancer patients don't need T3. WTF!? I had to explain to her that 125, 175, and 150 of the synthroid were doing nothing for me and they all felt the same. She was surprised and gave me a small dosage, 5 mcg, of Cytomel, which I'm supposed to take once a day, and still wouldn't do a blood test. The problem with T3 medication is that it only lasts you for four hours a day and then after that, you are just relying on your body. I can feel the difference when my body has the T3 medication in it, especially at the two hour mark, but once it's gone I feel horrible. I know the 5 mcg is too low for me since there isn't as big of a difference between how I'm now normally am and when I have the medication. Also when I brought up T3 right away she said she wouldn't put me on Armour... so red flag there, so I'm going to be looking for a new Endo and when I talk to the front desk my first question is 'are they known for giving out Armour or do they refuse to give people that?'
I see my ENT in March, so I'll be asking him to do a Free T3 and Reverse T3 blood test and if he won't I will go to my PCP since I know she'll do it for me. Oh speaking of blood tests... I've been trying to get my mom and sister to check out their thyroids since they have a lot of signs and issues that can be related to the thyroid. Well my sister goes to see her doctor, but I guess, she saw the nurse practitioner instead... my sister asked about checking her thyroid and the NP just gave her a request for the lab to do TSH. I got angry. I think I was yelling about it outside of the building over it. TSH alone does crap to see if there is a thyroid issue and that's basic common sense for doctors even my PCP and her nurse know that. The results from TSH, Free T3, and Free T4 are compared to find out for sure what's wrong with a patient or if they need more testing done for like auto-immune diseases. Justin understood why I was so angry, but my mom and sister were like 'If something shows up on the TSH test they will probably do more testing'... I kept trying to explain to them that's not how it works since TSH is NOT checking the thyroid, but the pituitary gland and its reactions to the how much of your hormones the thyroid is producing and even this test alone can show things are okay when they aren't.
Okay.. I think that's enough for today as I really, really need to do school work.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Continuing with Life
So I just finished my semester of college and quite proud of myself since I didn't allow my cancer to take my schooling away from me. It may have delayed me in turning in my school work on time, but my teachers were understanding thankfully. I got an A in English (a miracle for me), an A in Environmental Ethics, and a C in College Algebra (which I plan to retake in the future to get my GPA up). I already signed up for Spring semester classes even though I don't know if I still have cancer and need radioactive iodine treatment... I'm not going to allow this cancer to prevent me from doing everything that I want and need to do. Though right now it's preventing me to work more hours to due the current issues I'm still having.
I did get my blood work results in the mail, but it seems my iron and B12 are fine though my B12 is a little low in the normal range, so my doctor said it wouldn't hurt to take some B12 vitamins. Though my MCH, and Carbon Dioxide (total) are both low and I'm not sure what this means, but I'm going to show the results to my ENT and Endocrinologist and see what they say. I know the carbon dioxide might explain the joint pains and the weakness I have been having though it might be a sign of liver or kidney issues. I hope not, but it's a possibility.
I had to call off of work three times already this month and hope to not have to again anytime soon, but it's hard to go to work when you're unable to put weight on your legs without falling down. I have to talk to my doctors about this when I see them next month as that's the soonest I can see them. I'm hoping to ask my Endocrinologist to put me on Armour as I don't like how Synthroid makes me feel and its side effects.
Though other than dealing with the cancer and its affects on my life, I'm looking forward of the two weeks I have off from work to go see my family and friends in Texas. I will be able to celebrate a late Christmas with them and my fiance, so I'm really happy about that. My manager was nice enough to approve it for me and Justin brought our plane tickets to see my family. I'm also excited about winter break as Justin and I will be working on our comic stuff again once he's done with school this Thursday.
There isn't much else to say that's new in my life other than this though I would like to add that I hope this blog is helping someone else out there. The main reason for this blog is for me to vent and write out my experiences, but I still hope this is helping or at least spreading the word of thyroid illnesses and diseases... and the need to take care of this gland.
I did get my blood work results in the mail, but it seems my iron and B12 are fine though my B12 is a little low in the normal range, so my doctor said it wouldn't hurt to take some B12 vitamins. Though my MCH, and Carbon Dioxide (total) are both low and I'm not sure what this means, but I'm going to show the results to my ENT and Endocrinologist and see what they say. I know the carbon dioxide might explain the joint pains and the weakness I have been having though it might be a sign of liver or kidney issues. I hope not, but it's a possibility.
I had to call off of work three times already this month and hope to not have to again anytime soon, but it's hard to go to work when you're unable to put weight on your legs without falling down. I have to talk to my doctors about this when I see them next month as that's the soonest I can see them. I'm hoping to ask my Endocrinologist to put me on Armour as I don't like how Synthroid makes me feel and its side effects.
Though other than dealing with the cancer and its affects on my life, I'm looking forward of the two weeks I have off from work to go see my family and friends in Texas. I will be able to celebrate a late Christmas with them and my fiance, so I'm really happy about that. My manager was nice enough to approve it for me and Justin brought our plane tickets to see my family. I'm also excited about winter break as Justin and I will be working on our comic stuff again once he's done with school this Thursday.
There isn't much else to say that's new in my life other than this though I would like to add that I hope this blog is helping someone else out there. The main reason for this blog is for me to vent and write out my experiences, but I still hope this is helping or at least spreading the word of thyroid illnesses and diseases... and the need to take care of this gland.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Surgery Day
The morning of my surgery we were supposed to leave at 6:00am, but left 15 minutes late. We still should have gotten to the hospital in time, but there was an accident on the highway. We eventually got to the hospital and then got lost in the building and had to ask for directions to where I needed to go. I finally got to the area I needed to fill out paperwork and that's when my parents got there. After that I went to, if I remember correctly, One Day Surgery area, and got my waiting room and my gown.
Most of the day is now hazy because of the drugs, stress, and nervousness. I remember them taking my blood and giving me stuff through an IV. Justin held my hand throughout all of that. The next thing I remember is being pushed down a hallway to my surgery for a minute and then falling back to sleep and then waking up for a few minutes when they pushed my bed into the surgical room.
My surgery was three hours long and after it I woke up from what felt like someone tugging on the nose oxygen tube around my ears. Since my throat was so dry I asked for something to drink, but the only thing I could have at the time was ice cubes. I was so out of it that my boyfriend feed me the ice cubes with a spoon and from what my family told me I was being demanding on the sizes of the cubes. I vaguely remember people telling me to go back to sleep if I'm so tired, but I kept saying I wanted to stay up and talk to everyone. I guess, I'm very stubborn when I still have the effects of anesthesia.
They told my parents and boyfriend to go to my overnight room and they'll bring me upstairs. It seemed they forgot about me since it took them hours to get someone to take me to my room. Eventually they got me to my room and I was met with my parents and Justin. His parents were in the waiting room as only so many people can stay in the room. It was weird sitting up in a bed for me, especially with this HUGE wrapping around my neck and a tube with a plastic bag attached to it coming out from underneath the wrapping that was collecting blood and stuff from inside in my neck. I had to sleepover night with this thing, which was weird.
I talked to everyone and then they left around 9:00pm as visiting hours were over. Most of the night was fine for me as my roommate was nice and quiet. It was funny since the nurses kept coming in for her since they needed to move her, so they were getting all prepared for it... the roommate was all concern about them waking me up. The one nurse said she was sorry for waking me up and I told her it was okay. At some point they moved her to her new room on a different floor and I was alone for like an hour or two. I took this time to call my mom and Justin and figure out what time everyone was coming.
The woman in the room next to me would not stop yelling and causing problems... walking in the hall making noise, not caring if she's waking up other patients. In the morning Justin told me that she was doing that a lot while he was visiting me. She just would not shut up and kept going on and on about what her doctor said this and that,who did not work at that hospital and was not seeing what the doctors and interns where seeing.
Anyways, in the morning some interns came in to take the huge wrapping off of my neck, it seemed the one was showing some of them how to go about it, and the one unwrapping it seemed happy that I had short hair. I purposely got my hair cut for my surgery since I didn't want my hair get stuck in stitches. They also had to take the tubing out, which oddly didn't hurt, but it felt so weird. It turned out they super glued my neck closed instead of using stitches.
Justin came to the hospital first and was able to order my breakfast since it was still hard for me to talk. My nurse came in and told us they will call for someone to get me a wheelchair, so I can leave. Shortly after that my mom came to the room, but my dad was on the phone interviewing someone for a job, which had been scheduled in advance, so he got stuck with it. My parents had gotten me a candle from Bath and Body Works that was scent specially for stress relief and then a nice, fake bamboo plant. We waited and waited for a wheelchair for about an hour to two, but no one came with one. My dad was leaving that day to go back to Texas, which meant he had to drop my mom off at my sister's and then get to the airport, so they had to leave.
Eventually the main nurse that was dealing with me walked passed my room and noticed I was still there, she seemed upset I was still there too. She said she will ask again for someone to get me a wheelchair and help me out, but a nurse behind her said she could do it since I had been waiting for so long. The nurse was nice enough to push me to the parking garage, but not in the garage... I'm not sure if this is normal or not, oh well. Justin was able to help me walk into the garage and to the car, it wasn't that hard or at least I didn't think so.
I thought maybe the hard part was over with and that now with my new medication it would get me back to normal, but now I'm noticing this is only the beginning.
Most of the day is now hazy because of the drugs, stress, and nervousness. I remember them taking my blood and giving me stuff through an IV. Justin held my hand throughout all of that. The next thing I remember is being pushed down a hallway to my surgery for a minute and then falling back to sleep and then waking up for a few minutes when they pushed my bed into the surgical room.
My surgery was three hours long and after it I woke up from what felt like someone tugging on the nose oxygen tube around my ears. Since my throat was so dry I asked for something to drink, but the only thing I could have at the time was ice cubes. I was so out of it that my boyfriend feed me the ice cubes with a spoon and from what my family told me I was being demanding on the sizes of the cubes. I vaguely remember people telling me to go back to sleep if I'm so tired, but I kept saying I wanted to stay up and talk to everyone. I guess, I'm very stubborn when I still have the effects of anesthesia.
They told my parents and boyfriend to go to my overnight room and they'll bring me upstairs. It seemed they forgot about me since it took them hours to get someone to take me to my room. Eventually they got me to my room and I was met with my parents and Justin. His parents were in the waiting room as only so many people can stay in the room. It was weird sitting up in a bed for me, especially with this HUGE wrapping around my neck and a tube with a plastic bag attached to it coming out from underneath the wrapping that was collecting blood and stuff from inside in my neck. I had to sleepover night with this thing, which was weird.
I talked to everyone and then they left around 9:00pm as visiting hours were over. Most of the night was fine for me as my roommate was nice and quiet. It was funny since the nurses kept coming in for her since they needed to move her, so they were getting all prepared for it... the roommate was all concern about them waking me up. The one nurse said she was sorry for waking me up and I told her it was okay. At some point they moved her to her new room on a different floor and I was alone for like an hour or two. I took this time to call my mom and Justin and figure out what time everyone was coming.
The woman in the room next to me would not stop yelling and causing problems... walking in the hall making noise, not caring if she's waking up other patients. In the morning Justin told me that she was doing that a lot while he was visiting me. She just would not shut up and kept going on and on about what her doctor said this and that,who did not work at that hospital and was not seeing what the doctors and interns where seeing.
Anyways, in the morning some interns came in to take the huge wrapping off of my neck, it seemed the one was showing some of them how to go about it, and the one unwrapping it seemed happy that I had short hair. I purposely got my hair cut for my surgery since I didn't want my hair get stuck in stitches. They also had to take the tubing out, which oddly didn't hurt, but it felt so weird. It turned out they super glued my neck closed instead of using stitches.
Justin came to the hospital first and was able to order my breakfast since it was still hard for me to talk. My nurse came in and told us they will call for someone to get me a wheelchair, so I can leave. Shortly after that my mom came to the room, but my dad was on the phone interviewing someone for a job, which had been scheduled in advance, so he got stuck with it. My parents had gotten me a candle from Bath and Body Works that was scent specially for stress relief and then a nice, fake bamboo plant. We waited and waited for a wheelchair for about an hour to two, but no one came with one. My dad was leaving that day to go back to Texas, which meant he had to drop my mom off at my sister's and then get to the airport, so they had to leave.
Eventually the main nurse that was dealing with me walked passed my room and noticed I was still there, she seemed upset I was still there too. She said she will ask again for someone to get me a wheelchair and help me out, but a nurse behind her said she could do it since I had been waiting for so long. The nurse was nice enough to push me to the parking garage, but not in the garage... I'm not sure if this is normal or not, oh well. Justin was able to help me walk into the garage and to the car, it wasn't that hard or at least I didn't think so.
I thought maybe the hard part was over with and that now with my new medication it would get me back to normal, but now I'm noticing this is only the beginning.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Two Days Before Surgery
TO NOTE: Some of this may not be exactly how it happened as the memory can play tricks on you.... so yeah.
The only thing at that moment that I was looking forward to was seeing my parents of the Monday before my surgery. My mom was talking about once they land they were thinking about having lunch at this local place called Little York Tavern. They used to live in the area and were missing this place, so they really wanted to have it while they were up here. So I plotted what time we needed to get up to meet them at the airport to surprise them and everything, but by the time we left we were afraid that we couldn't meet them at the airport. I had to figure out a new plan, so I started texting my parents as soon as I found out they landed and see if they were going to do lunch still and also what kind of car they were renting. We got to the food place, parked in their lot far enough from the entrance to not be seen, and waited... waited... and waited until we saw them walking into the tavern. I waited until they got through the door and then we exited the car, quickly making our way in. My parents, as usual, went into the bar area to sit and I followed behind them not making a sound. They were about to sit down and my dad was facing me and I quickly motioned him to not notice me, so I can surprise my mom, who's back was still facing me. I believe I tapped her shoulder, so she would turn around and she was shocked to see me. We all hugged, well minus Justin as he's not the hugging type, and we all sat down for lunch. It was nice and made my day to see my parents just with Justin and me early in the day.
Now I think after that my parents went to their hotel and we went back home, so we can all nap for awhile and get ready for that night as my sister was going to go out to dinner with all of us. The last time I saw my sister was once during my summer classes and before that was two years... sadly, I've been trying to see her and talk to her, but she's never able to because she's working or partying with friends. The last time I saw her now was October 5th as she dropped off my mom, so we could take her to the airport and only saw her for like two, maybe three minutes.
I called for reservations for P.F. Changs and then went to Walmart to get my dad a birthday cake since my surgery day is on his birthday and also went to the Hallmark at the Dayton Mall to buy his birthday card. After that we went to the restaurant and waited to be seated as we were the first ones there. Some time after, not by much, my sister and parents showed up and sat down in the booth. The dinner was nice though the conversation seemed mostly about my sister since she never really acknowledge that the main reason our parents were there was because of me and my cancer. At times I felt like I was forgotten about within the conversation and it kinda hurt me... though luckily my mom was sitting next to me and was talking to me at times. I know Justin was more annoyed than me about the situation at dinner that night. I understood that she hadn't seen our parents for along time too, but it would have been nice if she realized they were there mainly for me. I don't even remember a time at the table she talked to me about my situation or a time that we talked about something other than her.
After dinner Justin and I went over to the hotel that they were staying at, so we can again spend time with it just being the four of us. I had brought with me the prayer scarf my Godmother (my mom's best friend from 5th grade) had asked her church to make me (it's so pretty I really need to take a picture of it) and the Precious Moment statue I was going to give my mom for Christmas, I figured to give it to her then since I didn't know when I would be down next and also figured my parents can fly it down more safely than I could. I think we spent four hours or more just chatting with them. It felt like I never moved out and it felt so nice that I didn't want to leave the room.
The next day mom and I planned to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to have lunch with just the two of us like old times. Justin was going to drop me off at the hotel room and then my dad was going to drop us off at the food place while he did his own thing. Before dropping us off though my dad asked me to take him to my workplace, Sam's Club, to get something and also I had to to get paperwork from there, I believe. I can't remember now. I told some of my co-workers of what was going on. It was nice to see my fellow workers concern over my health and well-being and hearing their get well wishes.
Then my dad dropped us off to the food place and sat in the booths like usual... Justin and I go to this Buffalo Wild Wings at least once or twice a week, so everyone there pretty much knows us. I think we spent two to three hours there since it had been a VERY long time my mom and I were able to do this. Also it was nice to not have the guys around, nothing wrong with them, but sometimes the topics you want to get into or stay on never happen, especially when it comes to my dad (he changes topic to topic so fast). At this point I was telling my mom how much I wanted my dad to stay an extra day, so he can see me the rest of the day of my surgery and also the next day when I'm more awake. I even talked about Justin and I paying a fourth each of the changing flight price. At this time she said she would try talking to him later about it.
Once dad picked us up and Justin met up with us at the hotel, we went to my sister's place, so my parents can see where she lives and her cat. Then we went to the TGI Friday's in her area for dinner and again dinner was okay, but the conversation wasn't the greatest. My dad was playing around on his iPhone and my sister was mainly talking about her situation. This is now the day right before my surgery, so I'm getting nervous and upset. Luckily Justin noticed this and started comforting me by scratching my head (this usually calms me down) and also my mom and dad noticed, asking if I was okay. I started crying at one point and Justin just hugged me, letting me cry on him.
After dinner... we went back to the hotel (minus my sister) and at one point my mom talked to my dad about staying the extra day. From what I remember originally he said no until he heard how Justin and I were willing to help pay for him to stay the extra day including paying for the hotel stay since this showed him how much I wanted and needed him to be there. Also there was the situation of my sister being mad about dinner how all he did was being on his iPhone, so all of this made him decide to stay the extra day and planned Wednesday night to be a dinner with him, my mom, and my sister. He even went as far as booking a cheaper hotel room in the same area as they were before, so they were still closer to my sister's area (I think originally he was thinking about booking it closer to my hospital) to make it possible for them to do this, but it never happened because of my sister.
After the hotel visit, Justin and I went back home, so we could pack up and set our alarms, we had to leave the house around 6am. It took me forever to fall asleep, but eventually I did.
The only thing at that moment that I was looking forward to was seeing my parents of the Monday before my surgery. My mom was talking about once they land they were thinking about having lunch at this local place called Little York Tavern. They used to live in the area and were missing this place, so they really wanted to have it while they were up here. So I plotted what time we needed to get up to meet them at the airport to surprise them and everything, but by the time we left we were afraid that we couldn't meet them at the airport. I had to figure out a new plan, so I started texting my parents as soon as I found out they landed and see if they were going to do lunch still and also what kind of car they were renting. We got to the food place, parked in their lot far enough from the entrance to not be seen, and waited... waited... and waited until we saw them walking into the tavern. I waited until they got through the door and then we exited the car, quickly making our way in. My parents, as usual, went into the bar area to sit and I followed behind them not making a sound. They were about to sit down and my dad was facing me and I quickly motioned him to not notice me, so I can surprise my mom, who's back was still facing me. I believe I tapped her shoulder, so she would turn around and she was shocked to see me. We all hugged, well minus Justin as he's not the hugging type, and we all sat down for lunch. It was nice and made my day to see my parents just with Justin and me early in the day.
Now I think after that my parents went to their hotel and we went back home, so we can all nap for awhile and get ready for that night as my sister was going to go out to dinner with all of us. The last time I saw my sister was once during my summer classes and before that was two years... sadly, I've been trying to see her and talk to her, but she's never able to because she's working or partying with friends. The last time I saw her now was October 5th as she dropped off my mom, so we could take her to the airport and only saw her for like two, maybe three minutes.
I called for reservations for P.F. Changs and then went to Walmart to get my dad a birthday cake since my surgery day is on his birthday and also went to the Hallmark at the Dayton Mall to buy his birthday card. After that we went to the restaurant and waited to be seated as we were the first ones there. Some time after, not by much, my sister and parents showed up and sat down in the booth. The dinner was nice though the conversation seemed mostly about my sister since she never really acknowledge that the main reason our parents were there was because of me and my cancer. At times I felt like I was forgotten about within the conversation and it kinda hurt me... though luckily my mom was sitting next to me and was talking to me at times. I know Justin was more annoyed than me about the situation at dinner that night. I understood that she hadn't seen our parents for along time too, but it would have been nice if she realized they were there mainly for me. I don't even remember a time at the table she talked to me about my situation or a time that we talked about something other than her.
After dinner Justin and I went over to the hotel that they were staying at, so we can again spend time with it just being the four of us. I had brought with me the prayer scarf my Godmother (my mom's best friend from 5th grade) had asked her church to make me (it's so pretty I really need to take a picture of it) and the Precious Moment statue I was going to give my mom for Christmas, I figured to give it to her then since I didn't know when I would be down next and also figured my parents can fly it down more safely than I could. I think we spent four hours or more just chatting with them. It felt like I never moved out and it felt so nice that I didn't want to leave the room.
The next day mom and I planned to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to have lunch with just the two of us like old times. Justin was going to drop me off at the hotel room and then my dad was going to drop us off at the food place while he did his own thing. Before dropping us off though my dad asked me to take him to my workplace, Sam's Club, to get something and also I had to to get paperwork from there, I believe. I can't remember now. I told some of my co-workers of what was going on. It was nice to see my fellow workers concern over my health and well-being and hearing their get well wishes.
Then my dad dropped us off to the food place and sat in the booths like usual... Justin and I go to this Buffalo Wild Wings at least once or twice a week, so everyone there pretty much knows us. I think we spent two to three hours there since it had been a VERY long time my mom and I were able to do this. Also it was nice to not have the guys around, nothing wrong with them, but sometimes the topics you want to get into or stay on never happen, especially when it comes to my dad (he changes topic to topic so fast). At this point I was telling my mom how much I wanted my dad to stay an extra day, so he can see me the rest of the day of my surgery and also the next day when I'm more awake. I even talked about Justin and I paying a fourth each of the changing flight price. At this time she said she would try talking to him later about it.
Once dad picked us up and Justin met up with us at the hotel, we went to my sister's place, so my parents can see where she lives and her cat. Then we went to the TGI Friday's in her area for dinner and again dinner was okay, but the conversation wasn't the greatest. My dad was playing around on his iPhone and my sister was mainly talking about her situation. This is now the day right before my surgery, so I'm getting nervous and upset. Luckily Justin noticed this and started comforting me by scratching my head (this usually calms me down) and also my mom and dad noticed, asking if I was okay. I started crying at one point and Justin just hugged me, letting me cry on him.
After dinner... we went back to the hotel (minus my sister) and at one point my mom talked to my dad about staying the extra day. From what I remember originally he said no until he heard how Justin and I were willing to help pay for him to stay the extra day including paying for the hotel stay since this showed him how much I wanted and needed him to be there. Also there was the situation of my sister being mad about dinner how all he did was being on his iPhone, so all of this made him decide to stay the extra day and planned Wednesday night to be a dinner with him, my mom, and my sister. He even went as far as booking a cheaper hotel room in the same area as they were before, so they were still closer to my sister's area (I think originally he was thinking about booking it closer to my hospital) to make it possible for them to do this, but it never happened because of my sister.
After the hotel visit, Justin and I went back home, so we could pack up and set our alarms, we had to leave the house around 6am. It took me forever to fall asleep, but eventually I did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)