Bad News/Good News

I know it's been awhile again that I posted on here since I've been busy with school and trying to figure out my job stuff.  I had left my one job due to lack of hours and also lack of understanding my health issues by some of my supervisors, which caused my anxiety to get bad.  I went back to a job I had one and a half years ago and loved working there, I was so excited to work there again.  I guess, I never realized the job was actually harder than I thought.  For those that don't know, it's a sales associate job at a department store, doesn't seem hard I know, but it is on the body.  I was crying after being up on my feet for two to three hours with no break (you get a break if you work five hours) and my arms were hurting from lifting so many clothes.  I started this job at the beginning of the month and it makes me so depressed that I had to leave so soon.  Sadly since I had to end up job without a two weeks notice (there was no way I could handle it for another two weeks, especially with the eight hour shifts), they will not hire me based on company policy even though it's because of a health issue.  I actually broke down crying when I was telling them, but it's out of HR's hand because it's the company policy.

The plan is to go jobless for awhile until my health gets better, which hopefully will once I see my new Endocrinologist and I start (hopefully again) getting better treatment.  I am pretty sure that my adrenal is one of the reasons my reverse T3 is so high, so that needs to be taken care of so the medication can work for me. 

The 24th of April was my 28th birthday, which was pretty depressing for me not only because I was working, but because where I am in life.  I'm not married though I do have a boyfriend, I don't have kids nor one on the way, I don't have a degree as I just started college last year, I don't have a car or a place of my own, and so on... and yet I'm close to being 30 years old.  On top of that I don't know if I still have cancer, I still don't have my old life back or close to and I continue to keep getting worse. 

Okay... some good news, so far I am still make straight A's in school and running for Publicity Director for Phi Theta Kappa.  When I filled out FAFSA I said I wanted to apply for work-study, so hopefully I can get that in hopes to be able to pay my bills.  I have my school reunion on June 1st in Austin, TX that I plan to go to and at the same time visit friends and family.  I'm going to try posting on here more often now that I am jobless, but also work on comic and game idea outlining and scripting, so I can get closer to actually start working on the final product.

That is all for now...

Eventful?

This past week and this weekend has had it's up and downs... understandably, I believe.  This coming Monday (tomorrow) is the day I find out if I still have cancer and then the following Wednesday is the day I learn if I need to have Radioactive Iodine treatment (RAI).  To find this out, I had to do a blood test in November, which is what we will base all of my future blood work to and a blood test in December.  The two will be compared and see if my numbers are decreasing or increasing.  Decreasing is good in this case as my body shouldn't be seeing any thyroid cells and my TSH was high (hypothyroid), so that needs to lower, too.

The other reason for my Monday appointment was to adjust my medication (if needed) and the last time he also based this on how I felt.  Well Wednesday morning one of his nurses called to tell me they were lowering it, okay... I don't feel better and I feel the same as I did on the 125 (was on 175... now on 150)... so why is this happening?  The hospital my ENT works at allows patients to get online accounts to see their results in their account... he hasn't approved anything to be placed on there, not even my TSH results.  Of course, I'm sitting here wondering 'Do I still have cancer?' 'Has it spread?' and then I tell myself everything will be fine... it's probably nothing.  I try to not over think it... but at times I can't, which is driving me insane!

Other than that, later today I'm doing an webcam interview with some students that are doing a report on cancer.  They posted their request on reddit and I replied saying I was up for it.  I did it because it's a cancer that many people don't know about, which is bad since it seems like more and more people are getting it recently.  So this will be interesting for me to do since I don't normally like talking on the phone with people I don't know (I used to not mind... but yeah) and be put on the spot.

Then tomorrow I am starting my spring semester of college and taking four classes this time.  I can't wait!  I'm so excited (odd, I know)!  I'm taking my English 2, an anthropology class, a computer class, and foundation of business, so it should be easy-ish this semester.  My goal is deal's list again!

Supposedly Normal

So... with the chest pains and breathing issues, I think I finally figured out what's wrong: pneumonia.  There's a likely chance that I got fluid in my lungs during my surgery and now months waiting to see if these pains and breathings will go away, it has now became an infection... so in other words, pneumonia.  I have the nausea, bowel issues, the fever, the weakness, the shaking (at times), breathing and swallowing issues, fast heart rate, and chest pains, especially when I breath in.  I was suppose to go to the hospital yesterday, but since Justin's final for school was yesterday, we had to wait until he was done... then his mom took the car to go to work herself.  I had to wait until today to go, so now I'm waiting for him to wake up... take a shower and then we can leave.

Well.. since I never got to finish this post when I originally started it... I'm just going to continue on from here.  I'm now back from the hospital (I went there around 1pm and left at 3:30pm on Thursday) and they found nothing wrong.  We did blood work and a CT scan and with those it showed I had no blood clot and no pneumonia, which I figured I had.  The only thing that did show up was that I had a very small area in the upper part of my left lung, but they said it shouldn't be what's causing my issues.  So what is?  I have to follow up with my family care doctor in four days (actually in five since in four days would be Christmas) and I have no clue what else we are going to do.  I'm at a lost.  I love how the paper they gave me when I was leaving said to get immediate care if I'm having shortness of breath and I'm already dealing with it.  I also wasn't too happy when they gave me the paper and let me go... I wasn't able to read it before I got released and the doctor didn't let me know this information either, for the next few days I'm suppose to avoid doing any physical activities that causes my chest pain to get worse.  I work at Sam's Club as a cashier!  Everything I do will cause it to be worse... I needed a real doctor's note to give to work to excuse me from being absent.

I already called off four days this month.... to note, I only can work two days a week right now, so I have been scheduled five days so far not counting this Saturday.  I can't miss anymore days, but if I go to work I'm afraid I will collapse at work from the chest pain and not being able to breath.  So I don't what to do and I feel like crying.  I went to bed around 9:30-ish and woke up at 4am with feeling hungry and having horrible chest pains, but since I was hungry I had to eat something so decided on some chips.  With opening up the bag, it brought tears to my eyes from the pain and then eating somehow made it worse and also made my stomach sick.  I haven't been able to eat much this week because I keep getting sick to my stomach and then my chest starts hurting too.

I want my life back!