I know it's been awhile again that I posted on here since I've been busy with school and trying to figure out my job stuff. I had left my one job due to lack of hours and also lack of understanding my health issues by some of my supervisors, which caused my anxiety to get bad. I went back to a job I had one and a half years ago and loved working there, I was so excited to work there again. I guess, I never realized the job was actually harder than I thought. For those that don't know, it's a sales associate job at a department store, doesn't seem hard I know, but it is on the body. I was crying after being up on my feet for two to three hours with no break (you get a break if you work five hours) and my arms were hurting from lifting so many clothes. I started this job at the beginning of the month and it makes me so depressed that I had to leave so soon. Sadly since I had to end up job without a two weeks notice (there was no way I could handle it for another two weeks, especially with the eight hour shifts), they will not hire me based on company policy even though it's because of a health issue. I actually broke down crying when I was telling them, but it's out of HR's hand because it's the company policy.
The plan is to go jobless for awhile until my health gets better, which hopefully will once I see my new Endocrinologist and I start (hopefully again) getting better treatment. I am pretty sure that my adrenal is one of the reasons my reverse T3 is so high, so that needs to be taken care of so the medication can work for me.
The 24th of April was my 28th birthday, which was pretty depressing for me not only because I was working, but because where I am in life. I'm not married though I do have a boyfriend, I don't have kids nor one on the way, I don't have a degree as I just started college last year, I don't have a car or a place of my own, and so on... and yet I'm close to being 30 years old. On top of that I don't know if I still have cancer, I still don't have my old life back or close to and I continue to keep getting worse.
Okay... some good news, so far I am still make straight A's in school and running for Publicity Director for Phi Theta Kappa. When I filled out FAFSA I said I wanted to apply for work-study, so hopefully I can get that in hopes to be able to pay my bills. I have my school reunion on June 1st in Austin, TX that I plan to go to and at the same time visit friends and family. I'm going to try posting on here more often now that I am jobless, but also work on comic and game idea outlining and scripting, so I can get closer to actually start working on the final product.
That is all for now...
Showing posts with label sister. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sister. Show all posts
Friday, April 26, 2013
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Two Days Before Surgery
TO NOTE: Some of this may not be exactly how it happened as the memory can play tricks on you.... so yeah.
The only thing at that moment that I was looking forward to was seeing my parents of the Monday before my surgery. My mom was talking about once they land they were thinking about having lunch at this local place called Little York Tavern. They used to live in the area and were missing this place, so they really wanted to have it while they were up here. So I plotted what time we needed to get up to meet them at the airport to surprise them and everything, but by the time we left we were afraid that we couldn't meet them at the airport. I had to figure out a new plan, so I started texting my parents as soon as I found out they landed and see if they were going to do lunch still and also what kind of car they were renting. We got to the food place, parked in their lot far enough from the entrance to not be seen, and waited... waited... and waited until we saw them walking into the tavern. I waited until they got through the door and then we exited the car, quickly making our way in. My parents, as usual, went into the bar area to sit and I followed behind them not making a sound. They were about to sit down and my dad was facing me and I quickly motioned him to not notice me, so I can surprise my mom, who's back was still facing me. I believe I tapped her shoulder, so she would turn around and she was shocked to see me. We all hugged, well minus Justin as he's not the hugging type, and we all sat down for lunch. It was nice and made my day to see my parents just with Justin and me early in the day.
Now I think after that my parents went to their hotel and we went back home, so we can all nap for awhile and get ready for that night as my sister was going to go out to dinner with all of us. The last time I saw my sister was once during my summer classes and before that was two years... sadly, I've been trying to see her and talk to her, but she's never able to because she's working or partying with friends. The last time I saw her now was October 5th as she dropped off my mom, so we could take her to the airport and only saw her for like two, maybe three minutes.
I called for reservations for P.F. Changs and then went to Walmart to get my dad a birthday cake since my surgery day is on his birthday and also went to the Hallmark at the Dayton Mall to buy his birthday card. After that we went to the restaurant and waited to be seated as we were the first ones there. Some time after, not by much, my sister and parents showed up and sat down in the booth. The dinner was nice though the conversation seemed mostly about my sister since she never really acknowledge that the main reason our parents were there was because of me and my cancer. At times I felt like I was forgotten about within the conversation and it kinda hurt me... though luckily my mom was sitting next to me and was talking to me at times. I know Justin was more annoyed than me about the situation at dinner that night. I understood that she hadn't seen our parents for along time too, but it would have been nice if she realized they were there mainly for me. I don't even remember a time at the table she talked to me about my situation or a time that we talked about something other than her.
After dinner Justin and I went over to the hotel that they were staying at, so we can again spend time with it just being the four of us. I had brought with me the prayer scarf my Godmother (my mom's best friend from 5th grade) had asked her church to make me (it's so pretty I really need to take a picture of it) and the Precious Moment statue I was going to give my mom for Christmas, I figured to give it to her then since I didn't know when I would be down next and also figured my parents can fly it down more safely than I could. I think we spent four hours or more just chatting with them. It felt like I never moved out and it felt so nice that I didn't want to leave the room.
The next day mom and I planned to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to have lunch with just the two of us like old times. Justin was going to drop me off at the hotel room and then my dad was going to drop us off at the food place while he did his own thing. Before dropping us off though my dad asked me to take him to my workplace, Sam's Club, to get something and also I had to to get paperwork from there, I believe. I can't remember now. I told some of my co-workers of what was going on. It was nice to see my fellow workers concern over my health and well-being and hearing their get well wishes.
Then my dad dropped us off to the food place and sat in the booths like usual... Justin and I go to this Buffalo Wild Wings at least once or twice a week, so everyone there pretty much knows us. I think we spent two to three hours there since it had been a VERY long time my mom and I were able to do this. Also it was nice to not have the guys around, nothing wrong with them, but sometimes the topics you want to get into or stay on never happen, especially when it comes to my dad (he changes topic to topic so fast). At this point I was telling my mom how much I wanted my dad to stay an extra day, so he can see me the rest of the day of my surgery and also the next day when I'm more awake. I even talked about Justin and I paying a fourth each of the changing flight price. At this time she said she would try talking to him later about it.
Once dad picked us up and Justin met up with us at the hotel, we went to my sister's place, so my parents can see where she lives and her cat. Then we went to the TGI Friday's in her area for dinner and again dinner was okay, but the conversation wasn't the greatest. My dad was playing around on his iPhone and my sister was mainly talking about her situation. This is now the day right before my surgery, so I'm getting nervous and upset. Luckily Justin noticed this and started comforting me by scratching my head (this usually calms me down) and also my mom and dad noticed, asking if I was okay. I started crying at one point and Justin just hugged me, letting me cry on him.
After dinner... we went back to the hotel (minus my sister) and at one point my mom talked to my dad about staying the extra day. From what I remember originally he said no until he heard how Justin and I were willing to help pay for him to stay the extra day including paying for the hotel stay since this showed him how much I wanted and needed him to be there. Also there was the situation of my sister being mad about dinner how all he did was being on his iPhone, so all of this made him decide to stay the extra day and planned Wednesday night to be a dinner with him, my mom, and my sister. He even went as far as booking a cheaper hotel room in the same area as they were before, so they were still closer to my sister's area (I think originally he was thinking about booking it closer to my hospital) to make it possible for them to do this, but it never happened because of my sister.
After the hotel visit, Justin and I went back home, so we could pack up and set our alarms, we had to leave the house around 6am. It took me forever to fall asleep, but eventually I did.
The only thing at that moment that I was looking forward to was seeing my parents of the Monday before my surgery. My mom was talking about once they land they were thinking about having lunch at this local place called Little York Tavern. They used to live in the area and were missing this place, so they really wanted to have it while they were up here. So I plotted what time we needed to get up to meet them at the airport to surprise them and everything, but by the time we left we were afraid that we couldn't meet them at the airport. I had to figure out a new plan, so I started texting my parents as soon as I found out they landed and see if they were going to do lunch still and also what kind of car they were renting. We got to the food place, parked in their lot far enough from the entrance to not be seen, and waited... waited... and waited until we saw them walking into the tavern. I waited until they got through the door and then we exited the car, quickly making our way in. My parents, as usual, went into the bar area to sit and I followed behind them not making a sound. They were about to sit down and my dad was facing me and I quickly motioned him to not notice me, so I can surprise my mom, who's back was still facing me. I believe I tapped her shoulder, so she would turn around and she was shocked to see me. We all hugged, well minus Justin as he's not the hugging type, and we all sat down for lunch. It was nice and made my day to see my parents just with Justin and me early in the day.
Now I think after that my parents went to their hotel and we went back home, so we can all nap for awhile and get ready for that night as my sister was going to go out to dinner with all of us. The last time I saw my sister was once during my summer classes and before that was two years... sadly, I've been trying to see her and talk to her, but she's never able to because she's working or partying with friends. The last time I saw her now was October 5th as she dropped off my mom, so we could take her to the airport and only saw her for like two, maybe three minutes.
I called for reservations for P.F. Changs and then went to Walmart to get my dad a birthday cake since my surgery day is on his birthday and also went to the Hallmark at the Dayton Mall to buy his birthday card. After that we went to the restaurant and waited to be seated as we were the first ones there. Some time after, not by much, my sister and parents showed up and sat down in the booth. The dinner was nice though the conversation seemed mostly about my sister since she never really acknowledge that the main reason our parents were there was because of me and my cancer. At times I felt like I was forgotten about within the conversation and it kinda hurt me... though luckily my mom was sitting next to me and was talking to me at times. I know Justin was more annoyed than me about the situation at dinner that night. I understood that she hadn't seen our parents for along time too, but it would have been nice if she realized they were there mainly for me. I don't even remember a time at the table she talked to me about my situation or a time that we talked about something other than her.
After dinner Justin and I went over to the hotel that they were staying at, so we can again spend time with it just being the four of us. I had brought with me the prayer scarf my Godmother (my mom's best friend from 5th grade) had asked her church to make me (it's so pretty I really need to take a picture of it) and the Precious Moment statue I was going to give my mom for Christmas, I figured to give it to her then since I didn't know when I would be down next and also figured my parents can fly it down more safely than I could. I think we spent four hours or more just chatting with them. It felt like I never moved out and it felt so nice that I didn't want to leave the room.
The next day mom and I planned to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to have lunch with just the two of us like old times. Justin was going to drop me off at the hotel room and then my dad was going to drop us off at the food place while he did his own thing. Before dropping us off though my dad asked me to take him to my workplace, Sam's Club, to get something and also I had to to get paperwork from there, I believe. I can't remember now. I told some of my co-workers of what was going on. It was nice to see my fellow workers concern over my health and well-being and hearing their get well wishes.
Then my dad dropped us off to the food place and sat in the booths like usual... Justin and I go to this Buffalo Wild Wings at least once or twice a week, so everyone there pretty much knows us. I think we spent two to three hours there since it had been a VERY long time my mom and I were able to do this. Also it was nice to not have the guys around, nothing wrong with them, but sometimes the topics you want to get into or stay on never happen, especially when it comes to my dad (he changes topic to topic so fast). At this point I was telling my mom how much I wanted my dad to stay an extra day, so he can see me the rest of the day of my surgery and also the next day when I'm more awake. I even talked about Justin and I paying a fourth each of the changing flight price. At this time she said she would try talking to him later about it.
Once dad picked us up and Justin met up with us at the hotel, we went to my sister's place, so my parents can see where she lives and her cat. Then we went to the TGI Friday's in her area for dinner and again dinner was okay, but the conversation wasn't the greatest. My dad was playing around on his iPhone and my sister was mainly talking about her situation. This is now the day right before my surgery, so I'm getting nervous and upset. Luckily Justin noticed this and started comforting me by scratching my head (this usually calms me down) and also my mom and dad noticed, asking if I was okay. I started crying at one point and Justin just hugged me, letting me cry on him.
After dinner... we went back to the hotel (minus my sister) and at one point my mom talked to my dad about staying the extra day. From what I remember originally he said no until he heard how Justin and I were willing to help pay for him to stay the extra day including paying for the hotel stay since this showed him how much I wanted and needed him to be there. Also there was the situation of my sister being mad about dinner how all he did was being on his iPhone, so all of this made him decide to stay the extra day and planned Wednesday night to be a dinner with him, my mom, and my sister. He even went as far as booking a cheaper hotel room in the same area as they were before, so they were still closer to my sister's area (I think originally he was thinking about booking it closer to my hospital) to make it possible for them to do this, but it never happened because of my sister.
After the hotel visit, Justin and I went back home, so we could pack up and set our alarms, we had to leave the house around 6am. It took me forever to fall asleep, but eventually I did.
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