Busy, busy, busy... oi

A lot has been going on and I'm almost at the point of going insane... I'm trying hard to keep myself together.  On the 14th of May I went to my second endocrinologist, who didn't seem to be able to read my pathology report or knows anything about variants.  I had to tell her that they narrow my cancer down to four aggressive types, which she was like "well it says you have papillary cancer"... to which I said "Yes, the main is papillary cancer, but there are variants," which that was pretty much ignored.  She also didn't understand the blood work orders and my medication adjustments.  We had to explain the labs were done first and then the medication was adjusted based on those orders.  She claimed based on my lab reports that it seems like the 125 mcg of Levothyroxine was close to the dosage I needed.  I told her I didn't understand was my labs showed my TSH was high and I felt like crap just like I did on 175 mcg and 150 mcg.

I tried to get her to order adrenal saliva test and my full iron panel, but she refused just like the other one.  She claimed that my issues might not be thyroid related, but still refuses to see if I have an adrenal problem (also in the endocrine system).  These results could explain why my medication isn't working along with other symptoms I have been experiencing.  I also explain to her that my family seems to have a lot of endocrine problems: kidneys, stomach, and thyroid, so it's reasonable to think I am having another endocrine problem that could be messing things up.  Still got no for the tests.  The thing with ordering tests is... I can order them online (really expensive though), but I have insurance and doctors that can order them for me and I am still paying for them... so what's the big deal?

She then tried to get me back on synthetic medication, which I got angry as she wouldn't do anything I wanted and she expects me to throw my body back into that crap?!  She claims that the natural thyroid medication is bad for the heart and bones (actually natural thyroid medication is good for the bones, it has improved people's bone density).  I felt like saying to her that sometimes heart medication can be bad for the heart as well, but are people going to stop taking needed heart medication because others had issues?  No, they aren't since what works for others, doesn't always work for other people.  This is why they are a lot of companies making their own version of the medications as there are many ways to make them with different fillers and such as not everyone can absorb the same medication the same way.

She also claimed that my natural thyroid medication is too high (basing this on the results from my last Levothyroxine test that was done in MARCH), but I agree, thinking it was too big of a jump as I was basing it on the UPS numbers.  I was willing to lower my dosage, but not willing to change my medication.  She was not happy with this and ordered the normal tests.  Well I got some of my lab results today (TSH, Free T4, and Free T3)... My TSH increased (which is good since it was .020 before), but my FT4 and FT3 decreased, so I might need to increase my medication and not decrease it.  Now I am wondering if it will be easy now to order my Reverse T3, adrenal saliva test, and full iron panel... probably not.

Then on Tuesday I have to go to Ohio's Department of Human Services for a two hour interview thing about work stuff.  I'm just hoping my last work place sent them the paper that said I quit due to medical issues... I hope so, if not I might be screwed big time.  Tuesday is also the funeral of my fiance's grandmother and I couldn't reschedule the interview since there was no information on the paper about it.  On top of that, we are leaving this Friday for 2.5 weeks, so yeah... had to reschedule it.

Then starting today I am in Summer classes... yay, lol.  Luckily the full semester I only have two classes, but the second half there is a third added to it.  I should do fine this semester as it doesn't seem hard, just a lot of work in the one class.  Oh!  Spring semester I got a 4.0, which makes me be on the Dean's List a second time and making my overall GPA to be a 3.7, yay!

When I come back from my trip, I'm going to talk to one of the advisers from the school I went to transfer to talk about my Bachelor degree stuff.  I am thinking of skipping my Associates and go straight into my Bachelor's to save some time and some money.  Just have to see what I find out from the school before I make that decision.

Bad News/Good News

I know it's been awhile again that I posted on here since I've been busy with school and trying to figure out my job stuff.  I had left my one job due to lack of hours and also lack of understanding my health issues by some of my supervisors, which caused my anxiety to get bad.  I went back to a job I had one and a half years ago and loved working there, I was so excited to work there again.  I guess, I never realized the job was actually harder than I thought.  For those that don't know, it's a sales associate job at a department store, doesn't seem hard I know, but it is on the body.  I was crying after being up on my feet for two to three hours with no break (you get a break if you work five hours) and my arms were hurting from lifting so many clothes.  I started this job at the beginning of the month and it makes me so depressed that I had to leave so soon.  Sadly since I had to end up job without a two weeks notice (there was no way I could handle it for another two weeks, especially with the eight hour shifts), they will not hire me based on company policy even though it's because of a health issue.  I actually broke down crying when I was telling them, but it's out of HR's hand because it's the company policy.

The plan is to go jobless for awhile until my health gets better, which hopefully will once I see my new Endocrinologist and I start (hopefully again) getting better treatment.  I am pretty sure that my adrenal is one of the reasons my reverse T3 is so high, so that needs to be taken care of so the medication can work for me. 

The 24th of April was my 28th birthday, which was pretty depressing for me not only because I was working, but because where I am in life.  I'm not married though I do have a boyfriend, I don't have kids nor one on the way, I don't have a degree as I just started college last year, I don't have a car or a place of my own, and so on... and yet I'm close to being 30 years old.  On top of that I don't know if I still have cancer, I still don't have my old life back or close to and I continue to keep getting worse. 

Okay... some good news, so far I am still make straight A's in school and running for Publicity Director for Phi Theta Kappa.  When I filled out FAFSA I said I wanted to apply for work-study, so hopefully I can get that in hopes to be able to pay my bills.  I have my school reunion on June 1st in Austin, TX that I plan to go to and at the same time visit friends and family.  I'm going to try posting on here more often now that I am jobless, but also work on comic and game idea outlining and scripting, so I can get closer to actually start working on the final product.

That is all for now...

Rant

So it's been a month since I last posted in my blog and sorry about that.  On January 7th, I started up my spring semester and this time I think I over did it with my classes as I have four classes with each having three credit hours.  My classes for this semester are Cultural Anthropology, Foundation of Business, English 2, and Computer Concepts and Applications.  Lately I haven't had much me time, especially since last week and this week I'm visiting family while I have a lot of homework.  I should be reading right now, but figured I let people know that read this that I am still here and alive. 

So... what's been going on with my health lately?  Last month I went to see my Endocrinologist for the first time and also went to my ENT to see my results from my blood work.  My TSH was at .026, so my ENT lowered my synthroid to 150 mcg and the chest pains have lessen, but I'm still having breathing issues and I can't take deep breaths without it hurting.  My Thyroglobulin went from .4 in November to .5 in December, which isn't a huge worry since sometimes they will miss thyroid tissues that try to rebuild and also I swear I have a thyroglossal duct cyst under my chin, which might be making the numbers go up.  I got a copy of my pathology report from my surgery and turns out they don't know exactly what kind of cancer I had, but narrowed it down to four rare and uncommon types with one of them being Tall-cell thyroid cancer.  Tall-cell doesn't always react to Radioactive Iodine (RAI) treatment, which isn't good, of course, but because there's a chance of it my Endo wants me to have RAI (though she kept saying my numbers are good).  I was told I didn't need to worry about my thyroglobulin numbers until they hit 1 or 2, so I'm not doing RAI until that happens.

Oh... and one thing that pissed me off about my Endo... She was talking about doing TSH and Free T4 tests on me and I asked her about Free T3 and Reverse T3 testing.  Her answer to T3 was that cancer patients don't need T3.  WTF!?  I had to explain to her that 125, 175, and 150 of the synthroid were doing nothing for me and they all felt the same.  She was surprised and gave me a small dosage, 5 mcg, of Cytomel, which I'm supposed to take once a day, and still wouldn't do a blood test.  The problem with T3 medication is that it only lasts you for four hours a day and then after that, you are just relying on your body.  I can feel the difference when my body has the T3 medication in it, especially at the two hour mark, but once it's gone I feel horrible.  I know the 5 mcg is too low for me since there isn't as big of a difference between how I'm now normally am and when I have the medication.  Also when I brought up T3 right away she said she wouldn't put me on Armour... so red flag there, so I'm going to be looking for a new Endo and when I talk to the front desk my first question is 'are they known for giving out Armour or do they refuse to give people that?'

I see my ENT in March, so I'll be asking him to do a Free T3 and Reverse T3 blood test and if he won't I will go to my PCP since I know she'll do it for me.  Oh speaking of blood tests... I've been trying to get my mom and sister to check out their thyroids since they have a lot of signs and issues that can be related to the thyroid.  Well my sister goes to see her doctor, but I guess, she saw the nurse practitioner instead... my sister asked about checking her thyroid and the NP just gave her a request for the lab to do TSH.  I got angry.  I think I was yelling about it outside of the building over it.  TSH alone does crap to see if there is a thyroid issue and that's basic common sense for doctors even my PCP and her nurse know that.  The results from TSH, Free T3, and Free T4 are compared to find out for sure what's wrong with a patient or if they need more testing done for like auto-immune diseases.  Justin understood why I was so angry, but my mom and sister were like 'If something shows up on the TSH test they will probably do more testing'... I kept trying to explain to them that's not how it works since TSH is NOT checking the thyroid, but the pituitary gland and its reactions to the how much of your hormones the thyroid is producing and even this test alone can show things are okay when they aren't.

Okay.. I think that's enough for today as I really, really need to do school work.

Eventful?

This past week and this weekend has had it's up and downs... understandably, I believe.  This coming Monday (tomorrow) is the day I find out if I still have cancer and then the following Wednesday is the day I learn if I need to have Radioactive Iodine treatment (RAI).  To find this out, I had to do a blood test in November, which is what we will base all of my future blood work to and a blood test in December.  The two will be compared and see if my numbers are decreasing or increasing.  Decreasing is good in this case as my body shouldn't be seeing any thyroid cells and my TSH was high (hypothyroid), so that needs to lower, too.

The other reason for my Monday appointment was to adjust my medication (if needed) and the last time he also based this on how I felt.  Well Wednesday morning one of his nurses called to tell me they were lowering it, okay... I don't feel better and I feel the same as I did on the 125 (was on 175... now on 150)... so why is this happening?  The hospital my ENT works at allows patients to get online accounts to see their results in their account... he hasn't approved anything to be placed on there, not even my TSH results.  Of course, I'm sitting here wondering 'Do I still have cancer?' 'Has it spread?' and then I tell myself everything will be fine... it's probably nothing.  I try to not over think it... but at times I can't, which is driving me insane!

Other than that, later today I'm doing an webcam interview with some students that are doing a report on cancer.  They posted their request on reddit and I replied saying I was up for it.  I did it because it's a cancer that many people don't know about, which is bad since it seems like more and more people are getting it recently.  So this will be interesting for me to do since I don't normally like talking on the phone with people I don't know (I used to not mind... but yeah) and be put on the spot.

Then tomorrow I am starting my spring semester of college and taking four classes this time.  I can't wait!  I'm so excited (odd, I know)!  I'm taking my English 2, an anthropology class, a computer class, and foundation of business, so it should be easy-ish this semester.  My goal is deal's list again!

Achievement: College

I started going to college this summer after not being in school for nine years and it would be at the end of that semester that I started having breathing issues.  It would be on the first day of my second semester that I had the biopsy of the main nodule on my thyroid.  I would be my fourth week of classes to find out I have cancer and my 6th week to get the gland removed.  I would become behind in two of my three classes and have to play catch up with them.  I struggled staying awake and having the energy to do my classwork, but I never gave up even though I felt like my world was falling apart.  I was determined to not allow my cancer to take my future away from me... my dreams and my passion.  I held on tight to those with both hands as I dealt with my cancer and as I continue to deal with it and the aftermath.  I was able to pass my classes while dealing with all of that, the physical, and emotional pains.

I checked my school email account yesterday to see if I got my semester GPA, my overall GPA, and my academic standing... and I was shocked to what I found.  I got on the Dean's List and mind you, I've never been on the honor roll when I was in school, but to get this while dealing with cancer... it just... wow.  To me, this has taught me that even though you are ill, you can still achieve things, great things, and don't let someone tell you otherwise.

My next goal is to get on the Dean's List again next semester!