Bad News/Good News

I know it's been awhile again that I posted on here since I've been busy with school and trying to figure out my job stuff.  I had left my one job due to lack of hours and also lack of understanding my health issues by some of my supervisors, which caused my anxiety to get bad.  I went back to a job I had one and a half years ago and loved working there, I was so excited to work there again.  I guess, I never realized the job was actually harder than I thought.  For those that don't know, it's a sales associate job at a department store, doesn't seem hard I know, but it is on the body.  I was crying after being up on my feet for two to three hours with no break (you get a break if you work five hours) and my arms were hurting from lifting so many clothes.  I started this job at the beginning of the month and it makes me so depressed that I had to leave so soon.  Sadly since I had to end up job without a two weeks notice (there was no way I could handle it for another two weeks, especially with the eight hour shifts), they will not hire me based on company policy even though it's because of a health issue.  I actually broke down crying when I was telling them, but it's out of HR's hand because it's the company policy.

The plan is to go jobless for awhile until my health gets better, which hopefully will once I see my new Endocrinologist and I start (hopefully again) getting better treatment.  I am pretty sure that my adrenal is one of the reasons my reverse T3 is so high, so that needs to be taken care of so the medication can work for me. 

The 24th of April was my 28th birthday, which was pretty depressing for me not only because I was working, but because where I am in life.  I'm not married though I do have a boyfriend, I don't have kids nor one on the way, I don't have a degree as I just started college last year, I don't have a car or a place of my own, and so on... and yet I'm close to being 30 years old.  On top of that I don't know if I still have cancer, I still don't have my old life back or close to and I continue to keep getting worse. 

Okay... some good news, so far I am still make straight A's in school and running for Publicity Director for Phi Theta Kappa.  When I filled out FAFSA I said I wanted to apply for work-study, so hopefully I can get that in hopes to be able to pay my bills.  I have my school reunion on June 1st in Austin, TX that I plan to go to and at the same time visit friends and family.  I'm going to try posting on here more often now that I am jobless, but also work on comic and game idea outlining and scripting, so I can get closer to actually start working on the final product.

That is all for now...

Eventful?

This past week and this weekend has had it's up and downs... understandably, I believe.  This coming Monday (tomorrow) is the day I find out if I still have cancer and then the following Wednesday is the day I learn if I need to have Radioactive Iodine treatment (RAI).  To find this out, I had to do a blood test in November, which is what we will base all of my future blood work to and a blood test in December.  The two will be compared and see if my numbers are decreasing or increasing.  Decreasing is good in this case as my body shouldn't be seeing any thyroid cells and my TSH was high (hypothyroid), so that needs to lower, too.

The other reason for my Monday appointment was to adjust my medication (if needed) and the last time he also based this on how I felt.  Well Wednesday morning one of his nurses called to tell me they were lowering it, okay... I don't feel better and I feel the same as I did on the 125 (was on 175... now on 150)... so why is this happening?  The hospital my ENT works at allows patients to get online accounts to see their results in their account... he hasn't approved anything to be placed on there, not even my TSH results.  Of course, I'm sitting here wondering 'Do I still have cancer?' 'Has it spread?' and then I tell myself everything will be fine... it's probably nothing.  I try to not over think it... but at times I can't, which is driving me insane!

Other than that, later today I'm doing an webcam interview with some students that are doing a report on cancer.  They posted their request on reddit and I replied saying I was up for it.  I did it because it's a cancer that many people don't know about, which is bad since it seems like more and more people are getting it recently.  So this will be interesting for me to do since I don't normally like talking on the phone with people I don't know (I used to not mind... but yeah) and be put on the spot.

Then tomorrow I am starting my spring semester of college and taking four classes this time.  I can't wait!  I'm so excited (odd, I know)!  I'm taking my English 2, an anthropology class, a computer class, and foundation of business, so it should be easy-ish this semester.  My goal is deal's list again!

Achievement: College

I started going to college this summer after not being in school for nine years and it would be at the end of that semester that I started having breathing issues.  It would be on the first day of my second semester that I had the biopsy of the main nodule on my thyroid.  I would be my fourth week of classes to find out I have cancer and my 6th week to get the gland removed.  I would become behind in two of my three classes and have to play catch up with them.  I struggled staying awake and having the energy to do my classwork, but I never gave up even though I felt like my world was falling apart.  I was determined to not allow my cancer to take my future away from me... my dreams and my passion.  I held on tight to those with both hands as I dealt with my cancer and as I continue to deal with it and the aftermath.  I was able to pass my classes while dealing with all of that, the physical, and emotional pains.

I checked my school email account yesterday to see if I got my semester GPA, my overall GPA, and my academic standing... and I was shocked to what I found.  I got on the Dean's List and mind you, I've never been on the honor roll when I was in school, but to get this while dealing with cancer... it just... wow.  To me, this has taught me that even though you are ill, you can still achieve things, great things, and don't let someone tell you otherwise.

My next goal is to get on the Dean's List again next semester!